Plastic Surgery

Sometimes, I yearn for the simpler times when the only reason you had plastic surgery was because your fighter had been shot down in flames or you were being hunted by Interpol across six continents. Nowadays, you don’t need a reason to have cosmetic surgery. At least, not a real reason like having half your face burned as you tried to unjam the canopy on your blazing Spitfire. Today, you are only exercising your democratic right to alter your appearance as you damn well feel like.

I’m not against cosmetic surgery in moderation. What I am against is the current frenzy where children in their teens are already demanding surgery to alter their appearance. This is madness and it has to stop.

What will it take? Well, it would help if Hollywood and the leading model agencies stopped encouraging young models, actors and actresses to change their appearances. But in the absence of common sense arriving any time soon, here are some rules that might be worth considering.

1.     Don’t ever try to look like somebody else. You weren’t born looking like Giselle and no amount of face-tampering is going to get you there. If you try too hard, you will be joining the freak show. 

2.     Your face is uniquely yours. Embrace it and enjoy it. However, if there is a feature which you and others find genuinely dis-figuring – your nose is too large or your chin is weak – then do something about it.

3.     If you intend to resort to cosmetic surgery, have a plan. Take it decade by decade. Tell yourself that you won’t do anything until you are at least 40 and then only Botox.

4.     Re-visit the debate when you hit fifty. Whatever you do at fifty will be with you for some time so it makes sense to decide what else you might need when you hit sixty or seventy. Remember that there is only so much real estate available and you don’t want to be having fillers extracted from an over-crowded face.

5.     Best of all, follow the traditional advice. Drink plenty of water, use industrial quantities of moisturisers and oils, exercise, don’t smoke, avoid excessive consumption of alcohol, and stay out of strong sunlight.