‘You can only understand life backwards, but we must live it forwards.’

I doubt that Kierkegaard spent too much time reflecting on the vagaries of skincare, but had he done so, he would surely have concluded that most of us end up with the skin we deserve. If your holiday routine comprises a mandatory eight hours of exposure to UVA radiation, several bottles of Whispering Angel, a late dinner, and tripping the light fantastic till four in the morning, stop reading now. 

Gatsby is dead and Klipspringer has disappeared. The mansion has been shuttered, the gates closed, and the green light at the end of the dock dimmed. Long Island Sound looks like you feel – grey, clammy, and slightly nauseous. The month-long party is already a distant memory as you sit in a crowded airport waiting for a flight that is as likely to take-off as anchovy-flavoured ice cream. And when it finally dawns on you that the probability of making it back home that day is on a par with George Clooney inviting you for a game of Twister or Harry Styles stopping by for karaoke, you concede defeat and break the most sacred of all post-holiday covenants – you look in the mirror. 

But it turns out that what you thought was a mirror, that innocent looking sheet of glass glued to the wall next the broken hand dryer, isn’t a mirror at all but a portal to a Stephen King novella and the face that is staring back at you is not the sun-kissed, blonde-haired beauty that appears on your Instagram page but a wizened harpy with blood-shot eyes, acrylic hair and a complexion that looks like the backside of a bull elephant.

Ignoring your skin’s needs is akin to over-spending. The result is the same as Mike in The Sun Also Rises when he is asked how he went bankrupt. ‘Two ways’, he answers. ‘Gradually, then suddenly.’ The problem with epidermal bankruptcy is there is no way back. The trick is to avoid going bankrupt in the first place. 

I love the beach, people, parties, and going out but as a non-smoker and occasional drinker who grew up with the sun, I can see the effects that they have on the skin. I don’t advocate abstinence – I think people who go to the beach dressed as beekeepers are frankly ridiculous – but I do think that a little moderation goes a long way.

Now that your holiday is a distant memory, it’s time to put some money in the bank. Find an exercise regime that you like enough to complete it several times a week; padlock the drinks cupboard; save your dance routines for the bathroom mirror; buy a new duvet and some good books. Your skin will thank you for it. After all, Christmas is just around the corner….