Whose face is it anyway?
Nature works in mysterious ways. For example, the internet is awash with before and after photographs of celebrities who have miraculously turned from ugly ducklings to swans – or in some cases – from ugly ducklings to less ugly ducklings – in the space of a few days. The phenomenon is rather baffling, and science can’t explain why this generation should give rise to so many ‘late developers’ compared to previous generations. The ‘swans’ believe that there is nothing to explain. The sudden change in their appearance is no more remarkable than if I had been knocked unconscious and woke up speaking fluent Swahili. If it can be attributed to anything other than superior genes, it must be the result of their diet, love of exercise or adoption of a more spiritual lifestyle. There is, however, one point on which they all agree: the change in their appearance is completely natural because they would never – that’s right never - undergo any form of plastic surgery.
In that sense, these ‘late developers’ are no different from the rest of us. Nobody ever has any plastic surgery done. Of course, we think about it, know others who’ve done it, and might even consider a tweak or two as a 55th birthday present to ourselves. But it’s not for us. We simply don’t need it, being already blessed with hamster cheeks, airbed lips, and the immobile milky-white complexion of Lenin in his tomb.
Ironically, nobody seems to have told the plastic surgeons and in another of nature’s anomalies, the cosmetic surgery industry continues to grow year after year despite nobody requiring their services. Plastic surgeons, having spotted that not everybody is lucky enough to possess the kind of celebrity genes which transform your appearance overnight, are kindly offering to replicate the process for a modest payment and two weeks seclusion from the world.
And why wouldn’t they? Thirty or forty years ago, a film or television actor would appear with a new hair style, and the following week hairdressers would be inundated with requests to replicate it, regardless of whether it suited the customer or not. We see the same trend today except it is no longer hair (which grows out) but plastic surgery (which doesn’t).
It is alarming that the fashion industry and advertisers have not only condoned but rewarded models that have undertaken plastic surgery to further their careers. This only encourages adolescents to believe that they too can succeed in modelling if they change their appearance. Leaving aside the questionable ethics of promoting plastic surgery to enhance career prospects, it ignores the fact that many of the world’s top models have succeeded precisely because they have an unusual or idiosyncratic beauty which sets them apart from the other models. In the end, success in the modelling world depends more on your personality and on whether the camera loves you, than whether you look like everybody else on the catwalk.
Modelling was always a tough business. It was never a level playing field, but at least it was a meritocracy, allowing women lucky enough to be born with natural good looks to escape disadvantaged backgrounds. Now, it seems that natural good looks are no longer a route to success – better to have wealthy parents and access to a leading plastic surgeon. I’m not sure this is progress.
All civilisations have had their own concept of what represents human beauty. Today, according to plastic surgeons, clients increasingly ask for the Instagram face. But what is the Instagram face if everybody on Instagram is already so pulled, filled, and filtered that you wouldn’t recognise them if they stood next to you at an airport check-in? Jia Tolentino who wrote a great article on the Instagram face for The New Yorker, believes that social media, FaceTune, and plastic surgery have colluded to create a single, cyborgian look. This look, adopted by models and celebrities, combines features from different races into a composite face which cannot be found in nature.
So, if you’re about to rush off to the nearest plastic surgeon to request that he or she makes you look like X, remember that X doesn’t look like X. X is a hologram, an amalgam of the features that social media and cosmetic surgeons have decided represent the apotheosis of female beauty. And remember too, that if there is one thing we have learned about social media, it’s always changing. Tomorrow’s ideal face may be very different. And if it is, your face is going look as dated as the first Volvo or John Travolta’s white trouser suit. You see, you can always change car or clothes, but there’s a limited number of times you can change your face without looking like a third-rate Picasso.
My advice to any young woman considering plastic surgery would be to wait until you are mature enough to consider how it might impact the rest of your life. Personally, I would wait until your mid-twenties at the earliest unless, as a result of birth or an accident, you have suffered a disfigurement which can be remedied by cosmetic surgery.
However, I would always advise against plastic surgery in order to look like a particular celebrity, especially if that celebrity’s appearance is itself the result of plastic surgery and Instagram filters. Plastic surgery is not a miracle solution to life’s problems. Use it sparingly, if at all, remembering that it won’t turn you into Giselle if you started out as Bridget Jones. And, whatever you do, please don’t sign up for an Instagram face. It won’t change your life because it doesn’t exist. It’s a dream peddled by social media and unscrupulous surgeons. I dream of winning the Women’s Singles at Roland Garros but I’m realistic enough to know that it’s never happening. Apparently, my not playing tennis is a major impediment.
